Saturday I DJ'd my first wedding since Bay had her stroke. It was also the day James returned to Iraq. It was a very difficult and long day. Perhaps not so much for Bay but it definitely was for me. I spent the evening watching a beautiful bride dance around all carefree and easy and all I could think is "I wonder if by time Bailey gets married she will move that easily. Will she still struggle with each step of will we see a full recovery?"
I try to stay optimistic and not let thoughts of "a recovery with deficits" (the doctors wording) enter my mind but it is harder on some days then others. I see her struggle and I just want it to be done. I want her to run around and dance in the easy free way she used to instead of the focused and difficult way she has to now.
I wonder if she even thinks of these things. To spend time with her you wouldn't think she does. She makes jokes, smiles and laughs the same as always. She is excited about every little success and used the word cool to describe the fact that she gets to use the "big stall" in the bathroom now.
On Sunday they let her leave the hospital for the afternoon. Her first priority was to go to Target, so this is what we did. Once at Target we had a couple of choice to make - bring the wheel chair in or use the electric carts they have at the store. Well of course she wanted to use the cart. It was very funny to us and very dangerous to those around us. And in typical Bay fashion, it was "cool." Not sad, not depressing, not frustrating, just cool.
How does she have such a positive attitude? I am not sure I would be as strong if I was in her situation.
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